


Aquaphobia

by Flech



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Backstory, Drowning, Family, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9250205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flech/pseuds/Flech
Summary: The events of the day following Philip falling in the Lake.





	

Philip thought that the winter was a stupid time to be out on the dock. Well honestly he thought that most times were a stupid time to be anywhere near water. It was cold and it was dangerous. Yet here they were. Philip followed Gabe out onto the dock. The boat was tied up in the truck. Sometimes they  
carried it out, but not today. It was freezing so even Gabe had to admit that it would be a short day.  
“Come here.” Gabe called standing all the way at the end of the dock. Philip slowly made his way to join stopping short a few steps behind the older man. “All the way.” Gabe turned slightly grabbing Philips hands to pull him forward.  
“I can't.” With their feet on the edge it was like standing in the open water. Large sections of the lake were frozen over, though it had been broken away around the dock.  
“Your okay kid.” Gabe wrapped his arms around the boy. “What do you think?”  
“That there is still just no way that am getting in that boat.”  
“One day.”  
Philip shook his head. “Maybe.” He laughed.  
“We can make a Caldwell out of you yet.”  
“Sure.” Philip rolled his eyes slipping out of his foster dads grip.  
“You'll see by summer you'll be swimming with the rest of the kids.”  
“Right that sounds just like me.”  
“You'll see.” Gabe ruffled his son's hair as he passed heading back to the car. Philip spun back around to look over the water walking to the edge one more time. He wished that he wanted to go swimming. More than anything he wished that could get in that boat. It would make Gabe so proud. “Shit” Philip muttered knowing he couldn't. He twisted around taking off down the dock. A shot of pain shot through Philip as one foot slammed into the back of the opposite leg. He could feel it throw him off balance and only had a moment to put together that he was falling. “DAD!” He managed before hitting the water. The cold water shocked his system causing a sharp inhale.  
Gabe had stopped at the end of the dock to talk to a friend who was coming down. Both men turned at the sound of the scream only in time to see a splash. Gabe’s heart sunk as they ran down the dock. He could barely see his kid in water before throwing off his jacket and jumping in. The water was so cold, but he couldn't think about that. He dove down until he could feel Philip in his arms. Dragging him to the surface, trying to take in if he was breathing as he passed him up to the friend on the deck.  
“Get him on his back.” Gabe called as he climbed up as fast as he could. Crawling over to Philip. He put his ear to his mouth and hand on his chest. He wasn't breathing. Gabe moved his hand to Philip’s neck checking his pulse before starting CPR compressions. “Your ok, your ok...” he muttered. “Your gonna be ok.” Philip coughed water coming out of his mouth curling onto his side. “Oh my god. Your okay.” Gabe pulled Philip up hugging him tightly. “I am so sorry.” Philip was shaking terribly. Gabe pushed Philip hair out of his face and wrapped him in the discarded jacket.  
“Um never mind I think.” The other man was talking into his cell phone. “I'm gonna pass the phone.” He offered the the phone to Gabe who took it.  
“Hello.” Gabe said trying to take a deep breath and maintain any composure.  
“Hello sir. There was a drowning?”  
“Yes my son. He fell in the lake, but he is stable.” Gabe was silently counting that Philip’s pulse was stable and breathing was consistent. “Hes alright. Your alright?” Philip weakly nodded. Pressing his forehead into Gabes chest. “Thank you but I think I'm gonna bring him home.”  
“Alright you make sure to bring him in if anything changes.”  
“Yes of course we will do that.” Gabe handed the phone back. “Come on.” Philip wrapped his arms tight around Gabes neck. As Gabe stood up he could feel a tight tug on his neck. “Can you stand?” Philip shock his head. Gabe hoisted Philip up. Philip tightened his grip. Gabe was surprised at how light the boy was. There was a relief in being able to feel his chest going up and down and feel the chattering of teeth on against collar bone. Soaking wet somehow Philip felt cold like carrying an ice sculpture. Somehow Gabe managed to get the car door opened and the remaining adrenalin made it easy to place Philip on the front seat. “Okay look at me.” He ran his hand on either side of Philips face. “I just need to check... let me just take your pulse.” Philip nodded watching. “Take a deep breath for me.” Philip listened and did it. “Good job. How do you feel?” Philip nodded tears running down his face. “Lets get you home.” Philip curled up into the car as Gabe closed the door and got in on the other side.  
Philip leaned into the door staring out the window. The whole town was covered in white. It snowed in the city, but in a day cars would clear road ways and the white of the snow would pick up a dirty dingy look. Not here the snow could look undisturbed. Philip could tell that Gabe was talking, but couldn't take in what was being said just a low buzzing. The world was shut off. Thrown into being a child. He remembered sitting in the ambulance. He tightened his grip around the jacket. He felt like he could throw up. The car door opened. The teen hadn't even noticed that the car had stopped.  
When Gabe opened the car door he could see that even with the heater completely cranked up Philip still was shivering and blue. His breathing was fast and shallow, almost hyperventilating. Philip slipped off the seat hitting into his foster dad. Gabe took several deep breath modeling how to breath. At times the boy could feel like he was practically grown but in this moment all Gabe could see was a little boy, his little boy. At least by now Philip was able to walk well leaning on Gabe. When they were inside Philip finally spoke.  
“I'm gonna shower.” He croaked.  
“Alright I'm gonna turn the heat on.”  
Philip slowly walked into the bathroom closing the door behind himself. He turned the shower on full blast followed by the sink before slipping onto the floor leaning against the cabinet door.

Helen was sitting at her desk finishing some paperwork for a stop sign that had been stolen for the hundredth time this year. Kids got to love them. She was relieved that her child was not one of them. His boyfriend on the other hand was more questionable. Her phone buzzed to life next to her.  
“I'll be home soon I'm just finishing some stuff up.” She said still paying more attention to the paperwork.  
“No no it's not that. Well maybe you should come home.” Gabe said breathlessly.  
“Whats wrong? Did something happen?” Helen dropped her pen standing up.  
“He's fine.” The hesitation in his voice made her want to vomit.  
“What happened?” She grabbed her jacket covering the phone. “Tony I'm gonna need you to finish this up.”  
“Sure thing boss.” Tony said. Helen was out in the car in no time.  
“You need to tell me what is going on.”  
“Philip, he fell in the lake.”  
Helen felt her chest loosen. “Oh. Well I guess it's cold. Turn the heater on and make him put on warm clothing.”  
“Helen.”  
“What? I know it's not really his thing, but he'll be all right.”  
“He almost drowned. He's barely spoken. He's a mess.”  
“Ok I'm in the car already just give me a couple of minutes. Are you with him?”  
“No he’s taking a shower.”  
“See He's fine why don't you put some dinner on. Ok?”  
“Okay. I love you.”  
“Love you to I'll be there soon.” Helen threw her phone into the cup holder looking up at the picture of her boy. Why would things never be easy. She thought more out of worry then at anyone particular. She knew that he was scared of water he hadn't even been able to get in a boat. My poor baby, she thought. She pulled the car up in front of the house next to the truck. She hated the feeling that she didn't know what to expect. She knew that logic said she would get in the house to find Philip sitting on the couch with a blanket, but somehow that just didn't feel right. The snow crunched under foot as she hopped out of the car. Gabe was in the kitchen when she opened the door.  
“Hey babe.” He said walking to great Helen at the door and kissing her.  
“Hey. Where is he?”  
“Still in the shower.”  
“And how did he seem?”  
“Not great.” He admitted placing his hands on her hips. “I'm kind of worried about him. He could barely walk. Helen he wasn't breathing.”  
“What?”  
“I told you he almost drowned. He fell in and he wasn't breathing and... I don't know...”  
“Oh my god.” Helen hugged her husband before pushing past over to the bathroom room. She could hear the water running. She knocked on the door. “Hey honey how are you doing?” There was no response. “Philip dinner's almost ready?” When there was no response again she felt her pulse rise. “Philip please answer.”  
Philip reached up from where he was sitting on the floor and opened the door. Helen felt her heart skip a beat when she saw her son curled up on the bathroom floor leaning against the sink cabinet still fully dressed in soaking wet clothing, he looked tiny in Gabes jacket, and pale even more than normal. Helen turned the sink and shower off then sat down taking his hand, it was cold and shaking. Philip let his head fall onto her shoulder.  
“I'm so sorry my love.” She said kissing the top of Philips head. Philip buried his face in her shoulder choking back tears. “I love you so much.” She held him on the floor for a few minutes and Philip let himself be help and let himself cry. He was okay,he was alive, and he was cold. Down to his bones he was cold, the kind of cold where you worry that you might not ever be able to be warm.  
“I'm cold.” Philip finally mumbled.  
Helen laughed relieved. “I know.”  
“I think I'm gonna change.”  
“Okay.” Helen wiped away a tear letting go of Philip who finally managed to hoist himself up. His legs felt shaky as if they could give out at any moment. Philip teetered into his room closing the door behind himself. He gave himself a moment to lean on the door pulling his phone out. Unsurprisingly the screen was black. Shit he thought. It had been hours since he had texted his boyfriend and Lukas was bound to be getting worried. The boy found a pair of gray pajama pants, a t shirt and sweatshirt. He changed quickly disposing the wet clothing on the floor. When he got down stairs both parents were in the kitchen talking in low voices. He found Helens phone sitting on the coffee table he took it sitting down on the floor in front of the heat vent between the couch and wall. He found Lukas's number pressing the call button.  
“Um hello Miss um Mrs Torrance.”  
Philip laughed slightly. “Its me.” He was surprised how little his voice felt.  
“Oh. Hey. Where have you been I have sent you like a million things and they were actually like really funny so I thought it was weird that you hadn't said anything.”  
“Well now I'm sad that I missed out.”  
“Yeah it was killer. Whats up?”  
“I... I broke my phone.”  
“Are you like alright.”  
Philip nodded. “Yeah I'm... I'm fine.”  
“Philip?”  
“Lukas?”  
“Wanna hang out later?”  
“Nah I think I'm just gonna um... I think I'm gonna call it a night.”  
“Lame.”  
“Whatever. I'll call you in the morning. I love you.” Shit. Philip hung up before waiting for a response. Oh my god how lame, he thought. The phone buzzed calling back, but Philip quickly pressed ignore.  
“Dinner!” Helen called up the stairs.  
“I'm over here.” Philip called back not moving off thr floor.  
“Come sit at the table.”  
“Do I have to?”  
Helen caught her husband's eye having an unspoken conversation. “No of course not.” She pushed the coffee table closer to the the heat vent and her and Gabe set the table there. Gabe sat on the sofa and Helen on a chair across from him. Gabe handed Philip a bowl of soup.  
“How are you feeling?” Gabe asked.  
“I'm... I don't know... Scared... I guess.” He shrugged trying to hide how true the statement was. “But like um... Thank you for you know...”  
“It’s not a problem. Of course. Philip you know that I would never hesitate to jump into any situation for you.”  
“Right sure.” Philip shrugged.  
“No listen the two of us, me and Helen, we are never going to let anything happen to you.”  
Helen bit her lip. “And you know I know our track record isn't great right now with everything that's happened, but we are here for you.”  
Philip nodded laughing at her. “Yeah thanks.”  
Helens phone buzzed on the table. She grabbed it.  
“Don't answer.” Philip said.  
“It's a texted.” She said reading. “Its Lukas. He say to tell your son to call.” She offered the phone, but Philip shook his head, and she put it down raising her eyebrows. He curled up finishing eating in silence.  
“I think I'm gonna go to bed.” Philip said knowing that it was still early.  
“Ok hon let's talk more in the morning.” Helen offered.  
“Yeah sure.” He nodded heading upstairs.  
“He's not okay.” Helen said watching Philip leave.  
“I know, but he will be.” Gabe agreed.

Philip tossed and turned for a while only falling asleep for small burst of time. He woke up to the sound of something hitting the window. He scurried over looking out the window to see Lukas standing next to his bike. Philip held up a finger and mouthing “just a minute.” Before sneaking down the stairs. He stopped at the door to pull on his boots and a jacket. “Really throwing rocks at my window?” He said as he closed the front door behind him. “You are such a cliché.”  
“I was always confused why anyone would do that, but then I realized it's because they didn't have cell phones.”  
“Oh please stop talking.” Philip said wrapping his arms around Lukas's neck.  
“Oh no sad.”  
“I told you I was tired.”  
“I know, but I had to come tell you something.”  
“And what is that?” Philip rolled his eyes.  
“That I love you.” Lukas said kissing his boyfriend. Philip nodded.  
“Right that, that.”  
“Also... I just wanted to come check on you.”  
“Why?”  
“Because something is clearly wrong. Right?”  
“Yeah.” Philip nodded. “Come sit.” He dragged Lukas up to the porch sitting him down on one of the Adirondack chairs and sitting mostly on top of him in the same chair.  
“Why did you hang up on me. Did you not mean it.”  
“No. Lukas of course I love you.” Philip took Lukas's hand playing with it. “I just didn't mean to say it.”  
“So, it happens nothing can be perfect I guess.” He smiled his ridiculously over sized smile showing all his teeth.  
“Obviously I know that I just feel like nothing is perfect for us ever...”  
“I think your perfect.” Lukas said looking shocked.  
“No duh. I think you're perfect too.”  
“Then I don't get it.”  
“um ok so earlier today I fell in the lake.”  
“Shit Philip.”  
“No I think I'm totally fine. Like I'm kind of cold, but it's getting better. Anyways though I like drowned a little and I was really just kind of freaked.”  
“Well yeah I would be losing my shit and I swim all the freaking time.”  
“So I was scared and just like... I feel like I ended up saying it in that minute cause I was scared that one of us could just fall in a pond a die. So I needed to tell you.”  
Lukas kissed Philip grabbing his face as he did. “That seems like a great reason to say it.”  
“I feel like we always say things ‘cause we're scared.”  
“Well guess what I didn't even know that anything had happened and when you said it all I wanted to do was come tell you how much I love you.”  
“Thank you.”  
“You're very welcome.” Lukas gave him a peck. “What can I do to help you feel better?”  
“I'm actually okay now. So I need to tell you. Not scared that I love you so much and that you're one of the people that makes me feel way more safe than I ever have.”  
Lukas hugged him allowing the the two of them to stare at the falling snow, silently together. Lukas finally broke the peace. “How did you fall in? Did you finally get in the boat?”  
“No.” Philip laughed. “I tripped on my feet.” He whispered.  
“I'm sorry what was that?”  
“I tripped on my feet.” They both laughed this time.  
“Now you're never gonna get in.”  
“Actually...”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah I think so.”  
“You are so weird.”  
Philip hit Lukas. “Whatever.”  
“I think its getting late.” Lukas said pulling out his phone. “Freak I need to get home my dad is still stupid protective.”  
“Fine. I'll see you tomorrow?”  
“Of course.” The two of them stood up. “Guess what?” Lukas said hugging the smaller boy tightly.  
“Don't.”  
“I love you.” He said hoisting Philip up.  
“You're ridiculous.”  
“You're ridiculous.”  
“But I love you.”  
“Damn you’re gorgeous.” Lukas kissed Philip one more time before putting him down and waving before heading towards his bike. Philip waved and watching Lukas ride away until he was out of sight. He let out a sigh of relief he was so glad to have gotten that out and realizing that he had to talk to his parents. Back in the house he left his jacket and shoes in the mud room. Then ran up the stairs. He knocked lightly on their bedroom door.  
“What is it?” Helen called.  
“Can I come in?”  
“Of course.” This time it was Gabe. Philip pushed the door opened.  
“Come here love. What's wrong?” Helen said.  
“Nothings wrong.” Philip said crawling into bed between the two adults, who shifted to make space.  
“Just wanted to come get a cuddle.” Helen offered.  
Philip scrunched his nose. “I actually wanted to ask something.”  
“Shoot.”  
“Um,” He turned to Gabe. “Can we go out on the water tomorrow?”  
“Yes of course, but you know that we don't have to.”  
“Yeah yeah I know. I just I realized that I can.” Philip curled up. “I don't think that I've ever talk to you guys about being scared of water.”  
“We know and I shouldn't have pushed you.” Gabe said. “I'm really sorry.”  
“Thanks but that's not what I mean. I know that I've mentions that I'm scared of water and I don't know maybe you guys know that I can't even swim.” Philip took a deep breath. “When I was really little, like five, my mom brought me to the shore. It wasn't the kind of thing that we normally did it was just the two of us and she was really busy so I was home a lot. At the time she was in a bad place using a lot. I mean I was little but I could already tell when things were off.” Helen nodded. “Anyways she was clearly high at the time, but when I woke up she was fully packed up because she wanted to go to the beach. So we drove out to Long Island and it was the middle of summer so it was insanely busy. You know the type of day where towels are practically touching and if it wasn't for umbrellas you wouldn't be able to tell where one group starts and the other ends. Like lots of the kids I went to go play in the water well my mom stayed on the beach. I didn't really know how to swim and I knew that so I was just kind of running at the waves and splashing. Those waves are killer though and one knocked me over I just remember my feet flying out from under me and my face hitting the ground. It hurt so much you know how the ground is just covered in those broken shells and I managed to get back on my feet and there was just blood pouring down my face.”  
Helen wrapped her arms around Philip who was shaking again as he spoke.  
“Um so I was trying to clean my face cause it was hard to even see when another big wave came and this one just completely pulled me under. I was only five but I still remember how panicked I was and just that moment of realizing that I wasn't gonna be able to find my way out. I woke up on the shore one of the life guards had pulled me out and everyone one was looking for my mom. They started asking me loads of questions like what did she look like and what was she wearing, what color umbrella we had anything to find her. And everyone on the beach was just getting more and more confused. Because they were looking at me this totally little kid and they didn't understand how no one could be claiming me. I was confused to just not as confused as them. It wasn't the first time that she had brought me somewhere out and just left...”  
“Oh my god Philip.” Helen shook her head  
“They still hadn't found her when the paramedics got there. Even then I knew that talking to them could get her in trouble so when they asked where she was I told them that I had come by myself. That we were visiting friends and I got bored and wandered off, but that I didn't know where it was and that everyone was probably really worried. But the worst part is that I knew that no one was looking and that no one was worried.” He wiped his face. “I ended up riding in the ambulance by myself. I was kind of a wreck so the paramedic picked me up and carried me over and I still remember the man that was driving was just like 'where is his parent?' and the guy holding me was just like 'no he's alone'. I was just like... That's it. That's me. I'm alone. Once at the hospital I got stitches across my forehead where I had hit it and they checked that I was alright. And everyone was continuing to make calls. It wasn't until really late at night when a family friend came to pick me up. I don't know though from then I was just done with water, but more than that what was really clear was that there wasn't gonna be someone to catch me. I think even then I could kind of tell how fucked up it was to be five and know that you were alone in the world.”  
“We will always catch.” Gabe said.  
Philip nodded. “I know that’s kind of the thing I realized today. That I've been pretty shut off from people in general. Which I think that you guys kind of know. Even more though then letting people in I definitely have never felt like there were people that would keep me safe and that what you guys are and what you gave me. With you two I'll never have to wait hours in a hospital alone and scared and I'll never have to explain how someone could have just abandoned me. Because things are gonna go wrong cause that's life and shit happens, and I'm not gonna lie today was terrifying, but I was scared for a few minutes. I fell and Gabe you were right there and Helen you came right home.”  
“Of course I did...”  
“No but that's exactly it. For me that has never been an of course. So just thank you guys so much. Thank you for making me feel safe and loved and just... I just love you so much.” Now Gabe leaned in hugging him.  
“We love you to.” He said. “You are freezing. Are you still that cold.”  
“Oh no. I was outside.”  
“Why were you outside?”  
“Umm...”  
“Ah let me guess.” Helen chimed in. “Was Lukas here?”  
“Maybe.”  
“Is he still in our house.”  
Philip laughed shaking his head. “No he just stopped by to make sure that I was alright.”  
“Good cause I just had that moment of panic that you had hypothermia.” Gabe said kissing the side of his head. “Don't scare me like that.”  
“Sorry.” Philip said starting to climb onto his knees. “Good night Helen.” He said hugging her.  
“I really love you honey.”  
“I love you too.”  
“I am so lucky to have you my beautiful boy. You are honestly one of my favorite people in the world.”  
“Thank you.” He turned. “Good night Gabe.” He hugged him.  
“Good night kiddo.”  
“Thank you so much.”  
“Of course. Now don't play outside at night okay son.”  
Philip nodded climbing over the older man out of the bed. He waved as he walked out of the room. The parents turned to each other.  
“He's gonna be ok?” Helen said.  
“Yeah.” Gabe nodded. “He’s okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I haven't posted in a long time. I hope that you enjoyed. :)


End file.
